Wanted.

Exams supposedly ended 5 days ago. (Yes I am ignoring the existence of stats reexamination next week.) And when I got home I immediately realized the meaninglessness of my life once again. I guess once we all stop dwelling in our progress towards any form of achievement, the feeling of being lost inevitably resurfaces.

Now what? Should I continue dwelling in the meaninglessness of my life? Well I would go on holiday, but I overcame the idea that now's just not the time. Managed to instead cherish the idea of its potentiality pretty thoroughly tho hahahah. Just hoping the suspense of finally being able to experience all the carefreeness in the world and the satisfaction of having just kicked life in balls eventually turns into reality. But in the meantime, I will settle with my luck of having a brain already injected with some form of temporary 'tolerance' serum that's been preventing the coagulation of impatient thoughts. We be waitin all day err day..

On the other hand, I've met so many people who can't wait to be on their way to fulfill the need of either a well-deserved getaway, or some trip dedicated to their desire to find out who they really are through solitude. And as much as I respect such audacity, some come home with plates, emptier than they were before. "Maybe it's time to stop asking questions and start searching for answers.", they all said. Unfortunately, I've seen how answers have apparently, only led to more questions... and frustration. And it is this frustration that I REALLY question.

Is it really that hard to understand the idea that you need to learn when to constantly go after something new in your life, and when to just wait for the right fucking moment? Because honestly..... I don't see many people who abruptly stray away from the path they're in, ultimately land themselves in an environment they've been dreaming of their entire lives, right off the bat. ._.

I. love. how. people. get. angry. after. confusing. themselves. lol.

I mean, if you are capable of dreaming big and you have this crazy imagination of how your life is gonna turn out by changing whatever it is you're doing now, well, then don't give up, and turn it into your reality man. I genuinely support you. But if you're gonna get frustrated the moment you start venturing into this whole dimension that none of us have ever seen just because everything doesn't make sense even after awhile and you end up doubting your new entire persona, then may I suggest you get the fuck out of your own whirlpool and stop going all apeshit..?

Because at the end of the day, it is alarming to know that there're people who try really hard to accomplish what is beyond them and in turn neglect what they can do with the opportunities that's been handed to them on a silver platter. Why do these people NOT SEE, that having the ability to adapt and make full use of what they already have, can eventually lead to something more than what is expected of it..? How special must your accomplishment really be, in order for you to be truly satisfied?

Of course.... we all have differing definitions of what exactly is 'beyond us'. And we all do not define 'opportunities' in the same manner because it can be ambiguous, the certainty of how something will eventually become useful/useless, in the long run. But I guess, such is the magnificence, of our intertwined understanding of each other's aspirations in life.

A year down, (hopefully only) 2 more to go.

Egg-citing.