I've always undeniably harbored the thought that many would see one particular thing, in many different ways. We all have our own interpretation/misinterpretation of one particular thing. A normal friendship could be seen as one-sided to a person, absolutely perfect to the other, and yet courtship by third parties. We've always let our minds think about things the way we want them to turn out. And it shocks me how people are caught off guard the moment they realize.. oh shit... there's been a clash in everyone's portrayal of the situation.


Then we doubt, and we question how someone else doesn't see things the same way we did. But more often than not, we'd never question how WE didn't see things the same way THEY did. This is simply innate. Everyone struggles to come to consensus. And I guess the solution would be to acquire a sudden influx of selflessness.

Attaining selflessness is.. always easier said than done, but we'll try won't we, fellow neanderthal? We shall selflessly make compromise!


As of late, my poor judgement leads me to think I at times, am being taken for granted. Reason being I may have over-showered concern over people who hasn't reciprocated, been reciprocating or will ever reciprocate in the near future. But hey, iz ok.. 'Giving is better than receiving' right..?

This year I have learnt that the phrase has been and will always be nothing short of bullshit. We humans are inherently fucked up and will undeniably do things for a cause. How fucked up you are.. is directly proportionate to how unreasonably high your demands are towards your targeted reward. Be fucked up. And be proud. It is only human. But whether it is humane.. is for you to decide.


It is not very hard to believe that receiving, (unfortunately?) makes a pretty damn good motivation, to continually give even more. Because you'd know what you've been doing hasn't been for naught. There is a prize after paying the price. Just how things are meant to turn out. It's fucking convenient, isn't it?

But let's say over a long period you've decided you'd give, and you give, and you give, and you give, and you give... and never ever receive.. there's an arguable term for this. It is called infatuation. And in the long run it will wear you down, for obvious reasons.

Which is why, over the course of this recent 'infatuation' experience, the very last thing I have given is.. well.. up.